Marching

Leaves accumulate whether we notice them or not.

To those who face the frailties of life and to those who have transitioned elsewhere…

We're marching to our deaths at birth
Then unaware of Life's propose.
Plans made, plans dashed, let's laugh with mirth
As march we must to last repose.

When first we view our life's true end,
Made real by year, yet not by day,
We vow to hoard, vow not to spend
More time in idleness, in play.

Not 'til our bodies tell us true,
Our end looms close, looms real,
Do we admit, "I wish I knew–
Please, one more spin around your wheel."

This knowledge brings its own reward, 
Knits us to others suff'ring too.
As I face down my ailments hard,
I understand how so do you.

In the past month one of my blogosphere contacts has died, and another faces a tough cancer battle. Here in the physical world a good friend struggles to walk, a second puts on a good face as her husband remisses into cancer, a third breathes slightly easier that her sister didn’t die last week, and our closest friends both battle mystery ailments. On a personal note, sciatica has said, “Remember me? I think I’m gonna stick around this time,” and my blood pressure has decided to ignore all my meds. I really can’t think of one good reason for the fact I want to grab every single person between 40 and 60 and declare insistently to their startled face, “WAKE UP! QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME! DO WHAT YOU WANT, DO WHAT YOU MUST, BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE QUIT DOING WHAT YOU DON’T WANT, WHAT YOU KNOW IS WRONG FOR YOU!!” Yeah, I wouldn’t have listened to me either. I don’t really have regrets. It’s just the shock with how quickly it changed in the past five years. There’s no way to prepare for it–but for some reason, perhaps the shock, I want to turn around a tell someone how I never realized what this was going to be like. Sure, I’ve seen folks navigate these years, but for some reason I never saw the road that connects I’m Okay Right Now with I Am Really Old And About To Die. And I really wish I had.

Goodbye, Hawai’i

At the beginning of this sporadic accounting of our Hawaiian vacation last fall, I mused on 100 Days of Hawai’i, and I threatened to go all “grandpa” on y’all. As this parade of entries has wound down, I think the ol’ grandpa genes kicked in more. Therefore I’ll keep this short, sweet, and hopefully mildly entertaining.

After the visit with my cousin our first full day on Maui, we loitered for three days as described recently. Two serendipitous events occurred to ensure an encore visit with my cousin and her husband. First, I left my camera and that package of very expensive Kona coffee in their car after our first visit. And second, I realized there was no way we wanted to get to the Kahului airport by 7 a.m. if that meant a one-hour drive and dropping a rental car. It would have seriously impacted the lazy vibe we were working on! I rebooked the flight for the next day, booked a hotel near the airport, and told my cousin so we could meet again for another visit since they lived near the hotel and the airport. This gave us a day to leave the Kapalua condo leisurely, stop at various viewpoints on the southern coast, and spend a lot of time at the Maui Aquarium.

Our last good view of the coast (from land anyway): the Papawai Scenic Lookout. The western end of Maui is on the left, a tiny dab of land in the center is Molokini, and at the right edge is Kaho’olawe. September 2024.

Even in the populated middle of Maui where things are fairly dry (see above), the mountains showed how they catch the clouds and their rain.

Looking west at dusk from Kahului. The Dunes at Maui Lani golf course in the foreground. The mountains are the reason one drives around the coast to Lahaina and Kapalua. September 2024.

Except for a few photos I couldn’t resist posting while on the vacation, I opened this lengthy travelogue with aerial shots of Oahu and Hawai’i. It seems only fitting we say goodbye to Maui and the Hawaiian Islands the same way.

Our plane skirted the northern coast of Maui, then banked to the east and the mainland. My last view of Maui and the Hawaiian Islands. September 2024.

Maui coastal shots

Looking back near four months now I cannot recall what we did of note for the three days after we connected with my cousin during our first full day on Maui. Only two salient things leap to mind: hanging at the nearest pool on the second day and driving the north coast a bit on the fourth. It seems as if we must have done something else…didn’t we? Our fourth day also represented our final full day on the western end of Maui. We had been told the natives didn’t really like tourists going up along the north shore, but we took a ‘chance’ and except for a bit of display for what I think represented a Hawai’i Separatist Movement we experienced no animosity. We certainly saw spectacular scenery as the road dove to near sea-level and then ascended to the tops of cliffs.

Our rental car, the ocean, and a spectacular sky above. Molokai in the distance. September 2024.
Once upon a time I might have tried snorkeling but not now, and certainly not in this partially protected bay. (Little dots are people snorkeling.) September 2024.
Unfortunately for my pictorial record, few pull-offs existed. At this one you can see a good representation of the north coast. The hill in the background has an incline in it as the road we’re on continues. We drove down to near-sea level in the bay out of the photo to the right. September 2024.

By my estimation I took around 100 photos of the coast and/or sunrises/sunsets while we lingered on Kapalua Bay. Dawn would start with the low-contrast promise of sun:

Pre-dawn, last morning on Kapalua Bay. Molokai to the left. September 2024.

And sometimes not so low-contrast…

This photo taken 20 minutes prior to the above it. Maui, September 2024.

I guess most of the time we stared at sunrises in the morning, sunsets in the evening and in between we ate and stared at stuff like this…

Breakers just beyond our shore, nearing sunset. Kapalua Bay, Maui, September 2024.

More products I don’t usually see

Our second morning at our Kapalua condo we decided the odd mix of “general store” and “deli counter” at the Honolua Store #89 which we had seen our first night going to dinner bore further scrutiny. For one, eating muffins two consecutive days for breakfast held no appeal. Two, I needed that coffee as explained in my Kona coffee post. Three, eating purple pancakes had “yes, you have to do this” written all over it. They’re purple because of ube, a species of yam––I can’t remember why the syrup is purple:

Purple pancakes for breakfast. Honolua Store #89, Maui, HI. September 2024.

While waiting for my purple pancakes I saw a display card for something I didn’t want to have:

Just couldn’t get behind Spam, despite its popularity. Honolua Store #89, Maui, HI. September 2024.

After breakfast we purchased numerous supplies such as chocolates, coffee, more beer, and other fixin’s and such to encourage us to mostly just stay in place and stare at the ocean.

Rainbows over Molokai

Molokai occluded by cloud and rainbow. September 2024.

Dawn on our second morning at Kapalua Bay struck clouds delivering a rain shower between us and Molokai, creating a brilliant rainbow. This may be common: I’ll post another instance later in this series.

Close-up of the morning ‘bow. Molokai from Maui, September 2024.

A Kona Konundrum

100% Kona coffee. Purchased in Maui, September 2024.

Our first full day on Maui consisted of settling in to a condo (“we need food” we realized). Then, we rendezvoused with one of my few cousins after more than 50 years. While spending the afternoon with them, we wandered an upscale mall. I spied a coffee shop and within, some ground Kona coffee. I needed coffee. I grabbed the package pictured above. At check-out the clerk said, “That will be forty-three dollars” and change. A mixture of shock and avoidance of embarrassment made me extend my credit card, tap the terminal, and commit to one of the most foolish purchases I’ve made in my life. You’ll note the package is only 7 ounces. As in barely-more-than-half-a-pound. Unfortunately, I can’t resist doing the math, and that’s more than $98/pound. Ouch.

I don’t like Kona coffee. I’ve had it off and on (mostly off) over 45 years of fine coffee drinking. I therefore didn’t think too much about buying something that purportedly was a lot less well-positioned on the ladder of quality. Because I absentmindedly left the package in my cousin’s car, I therefore needed coffee still. I purchased this:

Note–only 10% actual Kona coffee in this package. September 2024.

The pound above cost around $12-13. Same amount of ounces. Tasted…not quite as good, but really it wasn’t a three-fold difference. I felt stupid. And there you go.

To Maui

First sunset, with Molokai in background. September 2024.

Apologies, everyone. I’m going full Grandpa Mode in this one. It needs to be done.

After passing through three airports ranging from nice to delightful (see I Love You Hilo B. Airport), renting a car, and driving around the western lobe of Maui, we negotiated the contactless check-in process to our condo (another post for another day), unpacked, and stepped outside just as the sun set. Apologies for posting yet another sunset photo! It fits and I love ’em!

By the time our first full day in Maui dawned, we had made the decision we wouldn’t be driving around much. That drive from Kahului Airport to our condo at Kapalua Bay had taken nearly an hour. With little of interest in the miles and miles of condos stretching south of us to Lahaina, which itself offered much less after the 2023 fire wiped out half of its center, we realized going to any of the attractions mid-island would mean a two-hour roundtrip drive…every day. Attractions on the eastern part of the island (Haleakala National Park, for example) would be even further. If this had been our first few days in Hawai’i….but they were not.

We did drive back that very first day, however, so I could connect with my cousin whom I had not seen in 40-50 years. I grew up with only three cousins, all girls, who lived many hundreds of miles distant by the time I entered school (especially when they moved to Hawai’i for a few years). I gained a fourth when she was born as I finished high school and college, but the cousin one year older than me passed away about 20 years ago. With only three surviving cousins, and only two I actually knew growing up, seeing my Maui cousin qualified as a Big Deal. We met at the Maui Brewing Company in Kihei. After a delightfully long meal full of laughter, reminiscences, and plenty of beer, we toured the gated community where my cousin’s husband works as head of security. It’s a sweet gig: he works but two or three days each week and rubs shoulders with The Rich. He dropped some names, but I’m not allowed to pass them on to you. Suffice to say, when one of them purchases a home there, they promptly drop about a million to remodel it.

At the end of the afternoon we faced that one-hour drive back. We stopped in Lahaina at a Safeway for supplies, representing the first time I’ve ever seen a wine cellar in a Safeway.

Wine Cellar at Lahaina Safeway. September 2024.

That night the sun dutifully set, and I just as dutifully captured it photographically with twenty shots.

Sunset over palm. Maui, HI, September 2024.
The final dregs of sunset. Maui, HI, September 2024.

Intentions

Our first night view from our Maui condo (unretouched). September 2024.

[written on January 3rd, but subjected to the Don’t-Post-Anything-After-The-First-Beer rule.]

At the end of September 2024 I mused on boring y’all with 100 Days of Hawaii, my poor-taste humor suggesting I would post every day through the end of the year something about Hawaii, thereby driving away the few visitors who swing by this little neck of the Interweb. Today, 96 days since then, I find 100 days will not be enough owing to my typical lack of focus. (“Oh, look! Something shiny!”) I’ve only posted through our arrival on Maui, barely more than halfway into our trip. And I’ve made myself a mockery for eagerly anticipating the 12 Days of Christmas and all of the writing which would spring to life from my keyboard. (See link for last year’s procession through the Christmastide.) Therefore, on this Tenth Day of Christmas, and just past the turning of the civil calendar from 2024 to 2025, I pause to reflect, to resolve, to anticipate, to evaluate, and to pontificate. I guess I should apologize in advance. I’ll try to return to better stuff soon.

  • Most obviously, Hawaii remains unfinished. I therefore resolve to complete my reminiscence by the end of January. Given that we lazed out in Maui, did very little, and that I took the same few photographs over and over and over, this likely won’t prove difficult.
  • I anticipate a medical march through the month. I had a doctor consultation today. Coming up I’ve got a blood draw, a procedure I would name but for the fear I bring to its table, a semi-annual physical, and one or more appointments with those who keep my legs from collapsing. That last item melodramatically addresses ankle and feet issues which would take a lengthy post of little interest to address.
  • At 70, health becomes ever more preoccupying. I’m trying to change my instinct to live in front of this keyboard when I’m not in the kitchen, the choir loft, or in front of the TV. We’ll see. This intent has been issued many times before, apparently to the void for all the good it did.
  • I’m ditching Reader’s Horror. It intimidates rather than educates. I think I’ve made my point. Just as with several other things important to me–music reproduction, technology, cars that do what they’re supposed to do–the masses happily settle every day for a lower level of quality, all in the name of convenience. My parents’ and my generation bear some responsibility for thinking TV dinners freed us from cooking; polyester and “wrinkle-free” represented a step forward from cotton; plastic and just-throw-it-away moved us away from the repetitive chores of cleaning our glass and metal containers (can you say disposable diaper?); and gosh darn it, anything digital must be better. This mindset surprisingly (?) led to the demise of institutional journalism and the important publishing houses of my youth. Predictable, maybe, but we’ve tossed too much out with that bathwater: copyeditors, proofreaders, and those who function as guardrails and protect us from the mental cockroaches who crawl out in the absence of intellectual light. Thus sayeth me: When all voices equal each other, rationale thought dies.
  • I miss my decades-long foray into poetry. In pushing to publish, I’ve lost that time for stewing in my juices which engenders my poetic thoughts. I can’t make this a resolution, but I acknowledge it to myself, if only to start writing down the thoughts when they occur, even if I’m heading for bed! Just this past week I lost two pretty good poems.
  • I’ve read too few books and too much news. I ditched one digital subscription at the beginning of December, and I’m ditching another in the next week. If it weren’t for the depth of its offerings, I would ditch the New York Times.

There you have it. Nothing earth-shaking. Except, hopefully, for me!

Readers Horror 241228

I saw three examples of this in one day! Two in the New York Times! Example with discussion below:

Name your second-favorite airport- or airplane-based movie.

“Die Hard 2” was certainly was an influence.

—from interview with T. J. Fixman, writer of Netflix movie Carry On

Just a general discussion because I don’t know how to rate errors like this, annoying to read as they are. Your eye might have skipped over it. In the author’s response, the passive verb was gets repeated before and after the adverb certainly. Presumably when first typed, the writer of this sentence wasn’t certain whether to split the verb from its descriptive object influence (called a subjective complement to be exact). Did this occur because the author thought the editor would pick the ‘right’ one? Technically both are correct, but I could make an argument for “certainly was”. Is the author self-editing, and planned to come back to this? Or, as I fear most likely, did the author have a brain-fart, being unable to carry the sentence construct mentally for only three words?

Twice in one session of reading, New York Times? When I saw a third one on a sports blog, I couldn’t believe it, but at least it’s written by dedicated amateurs more interested in sports than writing. I can’t rate it because it’s egregiously wrong, yet quite possibly represents a case of just typing too quickly and hitting ‘Send’.

Christmas Day 2024

An old ornament on a new tree. Kinda like us in 2024.

My wife and I first wish you all a Merry Christmas. At the very least we hope the seasonal aspects of peace, love, and deeply rooted joy enter your heart and soul. We still dare to hope these wishes also spread from the end of this season through 2025 and beyond. Despite this being my 71st Christmas and the accumulation of a freight train’s worth of cynicism, I’ve found hope and optimism remain surprisingly strong in my heart.

In the photo above, the ornament symbolizes all of that. Its pink and white frosted layers have many imperfections. The bulb has carried most of those imperfections since its creation, but also has lost some of its sparkle as grains have fallen off through the years. It nevertheless remains shiny where first it shone, and it draws the eye amid the more modern ornaments picked up during the years, the modern (and safer) lights, and the not-so-accurately-manufactured tree needles on our artificial tree. My parents gave me this ornament with a few others when I struck out on my own about 45 years ago. It can’t be younger than the 1950’s, the same as me. As it’s lost its sheen to poor handling, indifferent storage, and the jostling of eight moves during our marriage alone, it’s gained character and presence, standing out among the gaudier yet superficial touches of the newer decorations.

Ultimately, like this ornament, all of us arrive at this Now and this Here being who we are. We put on and take off habits every few years, but settle into most for decades. Beneath the cloak(s) of these habits lie the core of our beings. This Christmastide, I wish you what I wish for myself: a closer understanding of that. When we walk confidently with our Selves, we can accept the unique Others who walk with us on this path. Maybe then we’ll have a little more peace in this world. Maybe then we won’t shout in anger at each other. Maybe we can inch a little bit closer to the perfection buried in our hearts.

Postscript: I’ve kept the above thoughts on the vague, bordering-on-vacuous-greeting card level because I don’t want to push an agenda at you. These thoughts underlie all spiritual beliefs. Even those who believe in nothing but organic humanism (just the brain, baby, then you’re gone!) have a spiritual belief–they believe there aren’t any. To these and to all, I say, “Acknowledge the Self. Recognize it in Others. This forms a bedrock more fundamental than the trappings of religions and philosophy. We all could get behind this concept and make a better world in the process.