2 Weeks of “Shoulda”

I ‘shoulda’ been on the outside of the screened in porch to take this photo yesterday. August 2024.

For the past 35 years, well….pretty much for my whole adult life, I’ve tried to use a few words very consciously: can’t, had to/have to (and variants), and should have/shoulda. The last breaks down into me telling you that you should do or say something. More insidiously we say this to ourselves.

In that vein, I realized I’m again spending far too much time on reading things I think I should, and not enough on what I like. This occurred right after I subscribed to a newsletter from the New York Times which twice a week will highlight some songs that are pretty salient and should be listened to, a topic I really care about. Yes, I appreciate the irony. Instead I spend several hours making sure I’m on top of geo-politics, cultural developments, science and technology, and all sorts of sociological things like economics and psychology.

In the past couple weeks a few things happened, but I don’t even have photos to show for it because most aren’t fun and some are ideas, not physical things lending themselves to the snap of a shutter: an impending death in our family; a friend having serious surgery; discovering that a minor roof leak isn’t so minor after all and requires a complete re-roofing from the rafters on up; and learning today that quite possibly an incredible amount of our personal data may have been stolen because of some third party company I’ve never heard of but which inexplicably has our complete health records including diagnoses, our complete financial stuff like credit cards and account numbers, and oh yeah, our Social Security numbers. Apparently health insurance companies use this company to do what they can’t because they’re too busy counting my money.

Sigh. I shoulda just posted a photo…

That doe up there has been hanging around for weeks. Deer aren’t that remarkable in the city’s right-of-way in back of lots, but they don’t often venture into our yards or bed down there like this one has on several occasions. That’s the deck railing, lower right, showing how close to the house she was. July 2024.

How green was my…

Lexington, KY’s McConnell Springs Park. July 2014.

Sticking with the ten years ago thing, I saw this photo. It’s unretouched (though cropped). It really is that green. McConnell Springs is the neatest little park, barely one square mile if I recall properly. European settlers were here, damming a spring to power a mill. The park sits on the edge of an industrial park hemmed in by railroad tracks on the other side with residential developments beyond that. Yet inside the densely forested park you feel a calmness as you’re transported back to another century.

Sunny memories

Garden sunflower, July 2014.

I gardened better ten years ago. My beginning consulting years actually weren’t about consulting–I hired out contractually. Technically, I earned more than I had as a manager in a pill manufacturing plant, but it was tough to compare. On the one hand, individuals working freelance pay all of their own Social Security and Medicare. On the other, I got paid for every hour I worked, unlike being a manager when 50 and 60-hour weeks occurred. The best perk in 2014? A strict you-can’t-work-over-40-hours-per-week limit. Free to work those hours flexibly, I usually rolled into Friday with 36, meaning I took off around noon. Nice Friday afternoons with my wife, time to run those errands that need to occur during a business week, and time to tend the garden haphazardly.

I don’t like to garden much but I’m entranced with the idea you can grow things, especially useful things like food for humans or birds. The sunflowers were for the finches. Didn’t work at that well, and in 2015 I started real consulting, traveling all over the country and beyond. Ah well. At least I can pay to have someone else do it now.

Finland or Turkey?

Melting on a mid-July afternoon. Benny, left, and Charlie enjoy the heat sinking into their bones. July 2024.

You know you’re in the sauna and That Guy insists on pouring ladle after ladle of water on the hot rocks? Your ‘dry sauna’ experience is turned into a nostril-searing cross between a Turkish steam bath and the original intent of the high-temp Finnish experience? Yeah, that’s our past week or two here in Raleigh, NC. The photo above captures Tuesday the 16th when we were somewhere around 100 degrees and the relative humidity made you feel like a water-soaked towel had been removed from a vat of boiling water and then wrapped around your body. I’ve been in worse–I’m looking at you Kansas!–but this turns most days into hot temperature versions of Snow Days, especially when a thunderstorm might occur.

Why two fur-encased creatures would want to spend hours melting into the planks of the deck in this weather boggles my mind. In No Banners, No Bugles by Edward Ellsberg, the Rear Admiral opens his book of World War II ship salvage with a description of him and his crew attempting to raise ships in the Red Sea where the temperature is in the 120’s (Fahrenheit). He goes back to his apartment and the poor A/C box unit has only been capable of cooling to 92 degrees. Nevertheless, it raises goosebumps on him due to the 30-degree temperature differential. I felt the same when I walked into a house being cooled to about 78, 79. (Ellsberg’s book is surprisingly readable and would make a good movie. I am not much of a history buff, but this book really held my interest when I read it.)

Benny got smart a day or so later, and spent his days in the basement where the temperature never gets higher than 70-72. Charlie finally succumbed today. He spent the afternoon in my office right up until I said I was posting this. Apparently he’s shy? Embarrassed? Ambivalent?

Independent thoughts

Spatial reasoning still a problem…

I attempted to explain that turning 90 degrees would align his body with the patch of sunlight, but Benny was having none of it. Either he’s indifferent or simply doesn’t understand geometry. I’m going with indifferent. July 2024.

6th grade was better…

About a month ago I posted about how 1966 proved seminal in my life for appreciating music, a year when I ‘woke up’ musically. Virtually every song in the Top Ten made me smile and say, “yeah…” and almost every one of them wound up on a 1966 playlist. Today I thought, “let’s see what 1972 held for me as I approached graduation from high school.” Holy. Crap. No wonder I felt adrift for much of the year–and I had thought it could be chalked up to teenaged ennui. In the Top Ten for the first week of January I encountered artists I still don’t like more than 50 years later: the really young Michael Jackson; David Cassidy; Donny Osmond. One song I had never heard before today: “Scorpio” by Dennis Coffey and the Detroit Guitar Band. I did get to add the top four songs to my new list: “Brand New Key” by Melanie; “American Pie (Parts 1 and 2) by Don McLean; “Family Affair” by Sly and the Family Stone; and “An Old Fashioned Love Song” by Three Dog Night.

By the second week of January the Top 40 contained two versions of “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing (In Perfect Harmony)” now known forevermore as The Coke Song. A last gasp Sonny and Cher song, “All I Ever Need Is You” didn’t make the cut. Likewise anything by The Stylistics, Al Green, and who the heck is Betty Wright? Thankfully other artists were riding high or coming into their own: Van Morrison, Rod Stewart, Rare Earth, Three Dog Night, Bread, Grand Funk, The Who, T. Rex, and Elton John. Oh, yeah, and this group called Led Zeppelin put out its fourth album. “Black Dog” hit the January 8th chart.

It will be interesting to continue through the year. I distinctly remember Alice Cooper put out “I’m Eighteen” when I turned 18 myself. Just after graduation I picked up a free copy of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars wondering who the heck this David Bowie guy was. At least there’s that to look forward too. Oh, and Neil Young…and Humble Pie…hmmm…maybe this won’t be so sad after all.

The annual lily surprise

Every year this lily pops out in the middle of a row of azaleas, bringing a surprised smile. July 2024.

The week ahead

Duling-Kurtz Inn at dawn. Exton, PA, July 2024.

We attended a wedding over the weekend in our old haunts around Philly. Our first ‘historic’ inn left a lot to be desired, but this one really delivered. Added plus: stupendous restaurant just to the right of this photo.